This week I wrote a thank-you note to the woman who led my Bible study.
Not because she's flashy. Not because she has the best theological one-liners. But because she does something rare.
She meets people exactly where they are.
No shame. No side-eye. No subtle spiritual superiority. Just scripture, kindness, prayer, and patience.
And it reminded me of something Paul wrote in Philippians 2:12–13:
"Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose."
Paul doesn't say earn your salvation. He says work it out. Like a muscle. Like training. Like slowly becoming stronger as God works through you.
Our study notes put it beautifully: "The 'work out' refers to how you make your salvation evident in your life. That evidence comes by allowing God to work out His will in your life."
In other words: God saves you. Then He trains you.
Why kindness matters in that process
There was a moment in our group where someone suggested we shouldn't encourage certain people to attend if they're living with their boyfriends. And I had a flashback.
To a younger version of me.
New York City. Wild child energy. Still calling myself a Christian. Still saved. Still deeply loved by God, even when my life didn't look like a church brochure.
And I realized something: if someone had shamed me in a Bible study back then, I might have stopped going entirely.
Instead, people like Shelly did something else. They played the long game.
Kindness. Encouragement. Scripture. Community. Year after year.
And slowly, God changed me.
Transformation rarely happens through shame
Think about how Jesus actually treated people. The woman at the well. Zacchaeus. The woman caught in adultery. Did He start with condemnation?
No. He started with connection.
Because transformation happens best when people feel safe enough to stay.
The church is not a five-star restaurant
At one point in our discussion, someone made the comment that we shouldn't encourage certain girls to attend Bible study if they're living with their boyfriends. And that's when the thought hit me clearly:
Church is not a five-star restaurant.
It's not an exclusive club where only the polished and well-behaved get a table. It's not a place where you place your order for spiritual benefits and then sit back enjoying the perks of membership.
You don't pay for entry with money. You don't earn your seat by being good enough. You don't qualify because you look impressive, successful, or spiritually put together.
In fact, the gospel works almost exactly the opposite way.
The people who think they have it all together usually feel the least need for it. And the people who know they're broken — those are the ones who walk through the doors hoping for help.
That's why church looks less like a luxury restaurant and a lot more like a hospital.
Hospitals are messy. People arrive injured, sick, scared, confused, addicted, ashamed, grieving, or exhausted. Some are healing. Some are just beginning treatment. Some are barely hanging on.
But nobody walks into a hospital because they already have everything together. They come because they need help.
And that's exactly the kind of place Jesus built His ministry around.
God plays the long game
Looking back at my life, I see something remarkable.
God didn't change me overnight. He slowly encouraged me. Through scripture. Through mentors. Through church. Through community.
And where did that road lead? To daily scripture study. To pursuing deeper mentorship. To building a business that may one day help thousands of people reconnect with God in a real way.
All because someone chose kindness over judgment.
A simple prayer
Lord, help me be more like the people who kept the door open for me. Help me remember where I came from. Help me lead others with the same patience You showed me. Make me more like Shelly. More like Jesus. Amen.
If you've been carrying the weight of feeling like you have to perform to belong, the Faith Deepening Path is built for you. It's five scripture tapping sessions for renewing your mind, releasing the old story, and walking with God without trying to earn your seat at the table.